Navigating identity, meaning, and purpose at midlife?
I help people discover their truth about who they are and what matters, supporting transformation and transition into the second half of life.
The journey from the first to the second half of life has been called falling upward, and it’s not easy.
Sometimes it begins with a painful event—a divorce, job loss, the death of a loved one.
Often it’s quieter, just a nagging discontent. What used to bring satisfaction has lost its luster—career achievements, wealth, partnership, home, social life.
Existential questions start to feel urgent: Who am I really? What matters to me? And perhaps most pervasive: Is this all there is?
The answer is definitively, spectacularly, no. But the search for more can be chaotic when we don’t know what we’re so desperately seeking.
Testimonials
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“When I met Julia, I had achieved—by all external metrics—everything I had ever dreamed of. I attributed these successes to discipline, hard work, and perseverance. Internally, these character traits manifested as a harsh and ever-present inner critic. Much of my self-worth was derived from external sources, and I was—paradoxically—becoming less resilient to challenges as I aged. On the outside, everything looked perfect, but on the inside, I had never felt more emotional turmoil. With care and empathy, Julia asked questions and provided perspectives that challenged how I saw my own value and worth. Julia didn't pathologize my negative emotions or suggest coping strategies. Instead, she saw these feelings as trail markers that guided me towards understanding their origins and healing the parts of me that believed grit and willpower were my only strengths. By guiding me through this period of life—from the first to second half—she helped me to see and value my true gifts, which had been hiding in plain sight. I now enjoy an inner peacefulness I never thought possible.”
— J.O.
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“I found Julia at exactly the right time. It felt like finally finding a doctor who could connect all your weird symptoms to a single cause. For a while I had been feeling itchy in my own skin. I was constantly craving new stimulation, which, with two young kids and a full time job was nearly impossible to come by. I was also bristling a bit in my marriage, as my spouse was happy as a clam with how things were. Julia gave me some incredibly freeing advice, particularly that I was on a hunt for deeper meaning, I didn’t have to resist it but could go with it, and it wasn’t about my spouse. It feels weird to admit that I needed someone’s permission as a middle-aged woman but I did. With Julia’s guidance and support I stopped viewing my feelings as incongruous with my life and started viewing them as integral to my life. I was empowered to experiment, to try new things, to push myself and my family out of our routine a little bit. Julia gave me the language and the understanding to meet myself where I am, and to be excited, instead of terrified, of where I might go next.”
— J.B.
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“When I was in my teens, I imagined that if one day I’d have a good job, own a house, and have a loving wife and family, I’d be happy. One day I woke up, 38 years old, looked around and realized that I had all those things, yet I felt just as fundamentally worthless as I did when I was 17. Worse, I had no real friends to share those feelings with. Julia entered my life at that moment. With care and love, she helped me process my past and embrace parts of myself that I had previously seen as shameful and had tried to hide. With Julia’s guidance, I learned to realize the extent of my own responsibility, to fully embrace what was mine, and to reject what wasn’t, without resentment or guilt. By guiding me through this transition, Julia has injected love and empathy into every facet of my being. I now enjoy a rich social life with close intimate friendships, a close and compassionate relationship with my children, a deep and secure love with my wife, and a profound sense of self-worth and acceptance. As I transition to the second half of life, I am filled with a sense of curiosity, faith, and excitement for what’s ahead.”
— A.O.
Midlife Transition as a Rite of Passage
The midlife transition—often dismissed as a “crisis” of sports cars and affairs—is one of the most powerful rites of passage humans can experience. With intention, it can be a gateway into authenticity, meaning, and freedom.
Across cultures, rites of passage are seen as having three phases, as described by anthropologist Arnold van Gennep. Below is how these stages can manifest during the midlife transition and how I support clients through each phase.
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1. Separation — The Pull Away From Who You’ve Been
✓ Feeling unfulfilled despite external success
✓ A sense of “I don’t know who I am anymore”
✓ Craving stimulation, novelty, and aliveness
✓ Grief for parts of life that weren’t what you’d hoped
My role: To help you honor and release your past and shed identities that no longer reflect your truth.
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2. Liminality — The In-Between Space of Transformation
✓ A breakdown of old narratives
✓ Heightened self-inquiry and emotional intensity
✓ Emerging desires that feel surprising or disruptive
✓ A pull to let go of who you “should” be
My role: To provide a grounding and compassionate space that can support growth through uncertainty.
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3. Reintegration — The Emergence of a New State of Being
✓ Feeling more awake, alive, and at peace
✓ Less reactive and more responsive
✓ Reorientation to service over achievement
✓ Making choices that align with your new values
My role: To support you in orienting your life toward new ways of being and values-aligned decisions.
Services
As a midlife doula and transformational coach, my offerings are designed to support you through each of the three stages of the midlife transition: Separation from old identities → Liminality in the space in between → Reintegration into a more aligned, purposeful life.
I meet with clients at my office in Newton, MA or virtually. Coaching sessions are typically 60 minutes, while Internal Family Systems work can benefit from longer sessions of 75-90 minutes.
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Ongoing, personalized support for navigating identity shifts, meaning-making, and the disorientation and realignment of the midlife transition.
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Internal Family Systems facilitation to help you understand your protective and vulnerable parts, release them from the past, and step into a leadership role in your life.
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Focused 2–3 session deep dives when you’re standing at a major decision point, feeling stuck, or sensing an identity shift that’s calling for attention.
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Please contact me to discuss my rates. I offer a sliding scale, so please don’t hesitate to contact me if you think I’d be a good fit for you but have financial constraints.
About Julia
My practice supporting midlife transition was inspired by my own midlife crisis and transformation. I now feel called to offer others the kind of support that could have scaffolded my own process.
I am trained in Internal Family Systems, an evidence-based and non-pathologizing modality for deep inner work. In addition to my one-on-one practice, I work to improve health and wellbeing at a population level. I’m an Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School, with a PhD in epidemiology and master’s in public health from the University of California, Berkeley. I have authored 135+ articles in peer-reviewed journals, such as the New England Journal of Medicine and JAMA, and have served as a mentor for over a decade.
My writing on health and wellbeing has been featured in The Atlantic, STAT, and the Harvard Health Blog, and I have provided comment for media outlets such as CNN, MSNBC, and The New York Times.
FAQ
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A doula—ancient Greek for woman who serves—supports people through transformative moments of life, traditionally birth and death. I believe the midlife transition, with its own form of death and rebirth, deserves this kind of care.
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My approach integrates the nurturing qualities of a doula with the accountability of a coach. I aim to create a fully accepting space where clients feel safe being challenged to look directly at their blind spots and take responsibility for their internal and external lives.
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Traditional coaching is often focused on improving performance in a particular area of life (e.g., career, parenting). Transformational coaching focuses less on what to do and more on how to be. By going upstream, this work can have a profound and sustained impact on all areas of life.
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Although there can be some overlap between the approaches used in therapy and transformational coaching, therapy tends to focus on mental health issues, whereas transformational coaching focuses on personal development. My services are for personal growth only, not for therapy or medical treatment.
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Internal Family Systems sees our internal system as having parts led by a core Self. These parts are innate but can be forced into extreme roles because of challenging life experiences when we’re very young. All parts are valuable and trying to protect us, even those that cause difficulty in our lives. IFS practitioners help people work with their parts and step into Self leadership, reflected by the 8 Cs: confidence, calm, compassion, courage, creativity, clarity, curiosity, and connectedness.
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The timing of the transition to the second half of life can be highly variable. It might begin at age 35, 55, 75, or beyond, and some never experience it at all. I use “midlife” to describe a particular stage of life rather than chronological age.
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You can expect presence, compassion, and accountability, with personalized support tailored to your journey. Here’s what other people have said about their experiences working with me.
Contact
If what I’ve written here resonates with what you’re experiencing, please contact me to schedule a free 20-minute introductory call. I look forward to discussing the support you’re seeking and how I might be able to help.
julia@midlifedoula.com | 617-370-5812